Published by Programme B
My name is Kristine. I am a woman going through a long term recovery. That means that I haven’t used mind-altering drugs since August 5, 2018. I have the feeling of the utmost gratitude for being clean since that day. No feelings of regret, whatsoever.
A Healthy, Active & Popular Personality In High School
I was a popular personality in elementary school. I took part in all of the physical education events that took place in my institute.
I was an ambitious volleyball player. I played as the right-side hitter. Playing in this position, I knew how to spike the ball and my reflexes were fast as lightning.
Accidental Injury At a Volleyball Meet:
During a beach volleyball match, I got injured. The doctor was surprised at my health and injury. I was not the type of person to find e-liquids at indejuice or any other bad habits. But my injury was severe.
I had a back injury so the doctor prescribed me some pain medication. The duration of taking pain medication was also quite long. Over this period, I got hooked on the pain medication. Bit by bit, I needed a stronger dose every time.
Developing a Tolerance to Pain Medication:
Each time I went to the doctor, they would give me higher tolerance medication. There came a time when the pills could no longer cut my craving. I started to experiment with other drugs. The drugs had an amazing effect on my mind.
But they were always so expensive. It didn’t seem worthwhile to spend so much money on these drugs. I wanted to stop. But I couldn’t quit for more than three or four days.
Getting Addicted to Opiates
One of my friends said that they could get me something much cheaper and much stronger. I was game, as long as I could save money. With his help, I met a heroin dealer.
I thought getting heroin would have been more challenging, it was easier. The drug was cheaper. The effects of heroin were much more potent than the pain killers I had been taking.
The effects of heroin were amazingly satisfying. But I always wanted more drugs, and more often. Every time I took it, I spiraled out of control. Then I had those brief moments of clarity. Was this what I wanted, not being able to tell if I am awake or asleep?
Was I Getting High or Going Low?
Now my self-image was zero. I could never even think of being a successful person I was in college. My friends were all junkies or people who were trying to make a quick buck. This is not the life I wanted.
A Ray of Hope
My family did not want anything to do with me. One of my classmates from college who had a crush on me saw me after a long time. He couldn’t believe his eyes. We sat together reminiscing the times we had. He said he still believed in me.
I told him I didn’t believe in myself anymore. I was mildly schizophrenic, often passed out, and not in the best of health anymore. He didn’t listen to a word I said. He had a good college education and he was a rich man now.
He said he believed in me and told me that he would help. He took me to a detox center, an expensive one. He paid my dues. I have been clean for almost two years now.
Photo by Valeria Ushakova from Pexels