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4 Lessons I Learned From A Hookup Site As A Guy

4 Lessons I Learned From A Hookup Site As A Guy

Published by Programme B

Online dating is the way of dating these days. This allows us to meet and connect with more people than we normally would. It also lets us match up with people, based on our preferences. We match with people that have the qualities that we’re looking for in a partner. We also fit the other person’s qualities that they’re looking for in a partner. It’s kind of neat how it all works to be completely honest.

But, let’s be honest, a lot of us aren’t on these sites for a lifelong partner. Sometimes we just want to hook up, and you’ll find out that there are a lot of people on these sites there for the same reason. As long as you’re upfront about it, then no harm is done. Don’t lead them on, be straight up about it.


Learn From Your Mistakes

I speak from experience though, as you may be suspecting. Dating, hooking up, all of it is a learning experience. Make sure that you learn from your mistakes. You don’t have to give up on the game, or online dating, or hooking up. Just learn, and pay attention to what you’ve done wrong. Let me tell you some lessons I’ve learned with online dating and hooking up.

Catfish, Is That You? 

Now, I know this isn’t going to be the story all of the time, but I am aware that this happens way more often than people realize. There was this girl that I matched with. We’ll call her Ashley. Everything about Ashley seemed great. She was into everything that I was. Liked playing all the video games that I did. It seemed like a dream come true. It made me wonder what’s the catch, because there had to be one, surely.

It was weird though. Ashley would talk on the phone with me, but would never face time, or video call. When trying to meet up so we could hang out, she always flaked. There was always some excuse as to why she just couldn’t make it.

I finally called her out on it, because I was over it. Turns out Ashley wasn’t Ashley. Sure, she was a girl, but the pictures she used on the site, and that she would send as messages weren’t her. It was somebody else’s photos. Ashley was a catfish. I was lucky, and never caught any feelings, or got too emotionally involved, but it still sucked.

So, if it seems like it’s good to be true, and she won’t ever meet up or face time with you, then it’s a good chance that you’re dealing with a catfish.

Red Flags To Watch Out For 

From the story above you know what to watch out for when it comes to dealing with a catfish. Those are red flags, but there are things other than catfish to watch out for when you’re on these sites. What are some of these other red flags?

  • Is the wedding ring visible in photos? This signifies that they could still be married, and on these sites for extracurricular fun. Always ask, and maybe even check out their social media. That way you can make sure that they aren’t lying about it.
  • If you block an account, and they reach back out on another account, BLOCK THEM ALL! If you gave your phone number to them, then you are going to want to change your number. Stay careful with these sites. Some people are creepy and can be stalkers. It fully sucks and is something you have to watch out for. If they give you weird vibes, trust your gut. Better safe than sorry in these types of situations.

These are some of the major things to watch out for on these sites. 


Dangers To Keep Safe From Unavailable Lover 

If a person is on these sites cheating on their spouse, it’s not going to end well for any of the parties involved. The scorned lover is going to be mad and isn’t going to believe that you didn’t know. They will be angrier towards you than their spouse too, misplaced anger. It happens more often. They place the blame on the other person, instead of their spouse. 

A scorned lover can be a dangerous thing. I’ve seen the ID channel, I don’t want to be a case on any of those shows, or made into a Lifetime movie. I’m sure that you don’t want that either. Watch for any clues that could tell you that the person is still married so that you don’t become a third wheel.


Danger To Keep Safe From Crazy Fanatic 

If you break it off with someone, and they just can’t let go, then you might have a serious problem. You need to learn the signs of manipulation that can be used, to keep you in their life. Don’t fall for these tricks. It’s their way of trying to control and keep you.

Know the difference between love and obsession. There’s a line between the two. Do they love you? Or are they obsessed with you, and want to control you? Stay safe when it comes to things like this. If someone ever threatens you, or makes you feel unsafe, get out. Don’t stay. If you still feel unsafe after breaking up, make sure that you tell your friends and family. Maybe even stay with them for a bit. Go to the police as well if needed.

I’ve had my fair share of wild past experiences from online dating and hookup sites. It’s been a ride. I hope that these lessons can help you keep from making any of these mistakes like me. These are hard lessons, but I learned from the experiences. Hope to help keep as many others from making them as I can. Stay safe, and have fun while on these sites. Don’t throw all caution to the wind.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels